Monday, December 5, 2011

Week 8!

Dear Sprout,

Holy crap, little one! You are 8 weeks old today!

We had your 2 month check up today. The doctor was very impressed with your growth. You are a whopping 12 pounds, 4 ounces. You haven't grown much length-wise, measuring at 23 inches long. Your head is gigantic at a very large 16 inches in circumference. I do believe this means you will be a small genius. Please only use your massive brains for good, ok?

Today you also got your first vaccinations. We're choosing to do a delayed schedule of vaccinations. We plan to vaccinate you fully, just a little more slowly than recommended. I have a strange phobia of you having some disastrous reaction to a shot, so I want to play it safe. The doctor is absolutely okay with this, so I don't feel bad about this decision whatsoever.

I have to say, kid, anything that hurts you just about kills me. My baby, my boy... you have never really had any tears and when you do, I can't stand it. I just can't stand seeing tears in those gorgeous, loving eyes of yours. The first time was during your PKU test when the horrid collection person just kept squeezing and squeezing blood from your foot.

The sound of your pain quite nearly broke my heart.

Your father volunteered to hold you and let me walk out of the room for the shots. While it was a tempting offer, I have to say that while the thought of you in pain hurts me, it upsets me more to think about you being hurt and me not being there for you.

Afterwards, I held you and cried with you.

Never in my life will I let you cry alone. I will always be there for you when everything seems just awful, when you are in pain, or when you just need a hug. So much as I can, I promise to never let you hurt alone.

My going back to work is looming in the near future. It doesn't look like there is anything we can do to not have me go back. I didn't think it would be this hard, but I can't even think about it without losing it. When I think about how much I'm going to miss with my terrible schedule, how I won't see you except for on the weekends, really... I can't help but feel absolutely devastated.

I am going to miss so much when I'm only able to see you for a few minutes before your bedtime and before you leave for daycare through the week. All of the smiles through the day, all of your sweet coos... I won't see any of them.

I really don't know how I am supposed to survive that.

What a downer of a post! Sorry, my baby, my love. I love you so much and I just can't imagine spending my days away from your amazing self.

All of my love,
Your mama

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