Saturday, April 30, 2011

A Little Hope

Dear Sprout,

Week 15 has been another great one. You've supposedly been about the size of a naval orange this week. I get a little more freaked out each week by the fact that you are getting bigger. We're  finishing up our fourth month. Can you even imagine? Me, neither.

You have a name, one way or the other. We made decisions, though we do reserve the right to revisit the matter at a later date. I picked a fantastically normal name for you if you are a girl and you're father picked out a amazingly wonderful/bizarre name for you if you are a boy. I'm determined to keep them a secret until we go for our 20 (21) week ultrasound in June. We'll see how well that goes. I'm pretty terrible at keeping secrets.

We had another OB appointment this week with the third doctor we've seen since your conception. I was, to put it mildly, petrified. After my previous experiences with baby doctors, I was really uncomfortable and not at all hopeful we'd have anything different.

Dr. Bloomquist walked in the room, introduced herself to your father first with a smile and a handshake (brilliant strategy, as far as I'm concerned) and then the same to me. Her first words were "So, I hear you've had a pretty frustrating experience so far." She let me vent a bit and then explained in a kind, compassionate way why I was now with her and not the other two doctors. She said it in a way that made sense... that made me feel OK with not being able to stick with the first doctor I saw.

She agreed that while I am more at risk for having a high risk pregnancy, I am not automatically going to have trouble. In fact, she told us that we were going to do this thing and we are going to stay healthy and safe. She looked your father and I right in the eye and said we were going to deliver a healthy, beautiful baby and we're not going to need to keep stressing over doctor care.

She is the first doctor who's bothered to give us words of comfort and reassurance -- or hope.

I loved her immediately.

I feel better about bringing you into this world. I feel good about this team of doctors.

And look, I KNOW I promised to stop being so paranoid but I think while I'm feeling so good and until I can feel you moving around in there, I won't be able to help myself. I will just have to be a little nervous. So, hearing your heartbeat again gave me an overwhelming sense of relief that everything will, in fact, go as it should. The doctor said it was 160 and sounded perfect. See why we love her?

The doctor also mentioned that we should start looking into birthing classes, which your dad was all for. Dr. Bloomquist really sold me on the idea of learning how to strengthen our partnership during labor and to really get your father involved in the process. We aren't really able to take a 7 or 8 week class with our work schedules, so we're looking at long marathon weekend classes. Ideally, we'd do the one at the bed and breakfast on Bainbridge Island in the country, but the cost is prohibitive to say the least. And that's okay because I am good with having classes at the hospital we'll be delivering at and having a tour of the labor, delivery and recovery suites.

The other day, your dad patted me on my tummy and said to you, "You're a good sprout! You're doing such a good job growing!" It's fantastic to watch him become more attached to you. He's constantly touching my belly. I can't wait until you are big enough for him to feel and until you get to meet this wonderful father of yours.

Good job growing, Sprout!

Your mama

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